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Two Additions...
I've got two additions to my Xmas Wishlist...
An IPod (or a mini... whatever, they both work)
and
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by the Smashing Pumpkins
Music... and all it's memories...
So i went to the store and got gas and all of a sudden i wanted to listen to some david Bowie and i remembered there was a CD that Chris put in my car to listen to. Whats sooooo funny is that all of his CDs are SOOOO random, this CD that has Orgy and David Bowie also has American Idol (Kelly Clarkson) tracks, Trance/Techno/Swedish House, Oingo Boingo and Blood Hound Gang on it... hahaha. I was Scanning through the CD and i started listening to this techno song called Castle in the Sky, and i couldn't help but remember all the times that Chris described his Airbands for this song... I laughed out loud... and now the stress that was all built up is gone.
HuRRay!
tired...
I went to chris's house yesterday around, i dunno what time. I asked for a Nyquil and took it. I ended up taking a nap at his house for a while. He woke me up to tell me that Franco was coming to pick us up and go to the mall. We had plans to go to their friend, Kim's work too. So we went to Pump it up, this huge astro jump arena place (it was pretty awesome). The boys, Chris, Franco, and Andre, practiced their wrestling moves and everything, while i sat and watched. I hung out on the astro jumps too, i mostly liked the slides. It was fun watching the boys. They cracked me up. After a while Christopher got his elbows all burnt up on the "mat" and stuff so they stopped. He sat with me on the slide and Franco and Andre joined us, and we all just talked. Then we decided to leave. I got to talk to Kim a little. She's nice. It was nice meeting her. We rolled out and i was going to go home right then, but Franco coerced me into going to Parkway Plaza with them. I was tired, so i fell asleep on Chris's shoulder on the way there. We walked around the mall and went into some stores. Franco and Andre bought some stuff. Chris and i just looked around at stuff. It was the first time i ever went to parkway, i liked it. THey have a lot of shops that i like. Anyway, we left and Franco brought me to go pick up my car. The boys went out to get some food and i went home.
I felt kinda bad cause i was all tired and i felt like i was complainy. Poor guys, sorry....
Promise me...
So, something that i'm not very proud of happened this week. I did something that everyone was pretty mad at me for. As always Chris figured it out... i didn't straight up tell him (if its something embarrassing, he's gotta guess). He told me to promise him it would never happen again. I've promised others before that it wouldn't occur and that i would never let it happen... and of course i resorted to that same bad habit. But when Chris said it, and i hesistated and thought about what i was going to say and everything he was asking me to do... I could only think, i can't make promises like this... then i thought some more and realized that i was being stupid and how many reasons there are that i shouldn't do it and how many reasons there are for me not to lapse. I promised him that it would never happen again. When i promise him something, i mean it and it keep it.
Laying in Bed & It's Christmas Eve...
I woke up this morning and i thought about the presents i've gotten so far for christmas. I can rank them in order. Rachel's gift, Chris's gift, and the best so far was a present i got from Santa Claus, 3 months early. I've woken up every morning for the last 3 months, almost 4, with the wonderful feeling that there's something to look forward to. I wake up and smile now, for the first time in years. I go to sleep with eagerness to see my dreams in hopes that they reflect my christmas gift. I'm happy everyday because i have chris. Christopher, i love you, thank you for being so amazing and such a wonderful presence in my life.
Fully productive... not really...
So last night was... well... not what i wanted it to be i guess. I really want to hang out with Chrissy and Emily last night, for the first time in a long time. I miss them. They decided to bail on me. I was stuck at home for 4 hours with my evil mother. Then chris finally called me and asked if i wanted to go out to dinner. So i went over to Mandre's to meet up with them. I watched them boys play video games for a little while, then Franco, Chris, and I went to Carl's Jr. and ate and talked and stuff. Then we ended up going back to Mandre's and hanging out with Chris's friends. yea. then we went home while these others rounded up and went to TJ.
GOt home in the evening and then went to bed and red. Fell asleep... i woke up at 3:30 to the astonishment that i couldn't breathe... not only that, my throat was (and still is) dry and scratchy... DAMN IT... the Parents got me sick... DAMN IT. Took some dimatapp, hopefully this doesn't last for too long.