Who's Gonna Notice// life according to // ME
A N N I E a n k n e e s e a
Information
Goes By// Annie, Annie C, An-knee, Nette, Toinette, Toni
The Real Thing// Antoinette Cope
D.o.B// 11-16-87
Age// 17
Class// o5'
Location// Sunny San Diego
Status// Happily Taken
Song//
Contact
AIM// tooBADimBROWN
Email// ankneeSEE@hotmail.com

September
Beats the Crap outtah me
October
1 - Homecoming Game
2 - Homecoming Dance
6 - 1 whole month...
9 - Poway Preview
23- Scripps Ranch
30- Mt. Carmel
Next month...
3 - Kev's Birthday
6 - Chino
13- Vista
14- Chris's Birthday
16- My Birthday
20- Arcadia Archives
11/30/2003 - 12/07/2003 / 12/07/2003 - 12/14/2003 / 12/14/2003 - 12/21/2003 / 12/21/2003 - 12/28/2003 / 12/28/2003 - 01/04/2004 / 01/04/2004 - 01/11/2004 / 01/11/2004 - 01/18/2004 / 01/18/2004 - 01/25/2004 / 01/25/2004 - 02/01/2004 / 02/01/2004 - 02/08/2004 / 02/08/2004 - 02/15/2004 / 02/15/2004 - 02/22/2004 / 02/22/2004 - 02/29/2004 / 02/29/2004 - 03/07/2004 / 03/07/2004 - 03/14/2004 / 03/14/2004 - 03/21/2004 / 03/28/2004 - 04/04/2004 / 04/04/2004 - 04/11/2004 / 04/11/2004 - 04/18/2004 / 04/18/2004 - 04/25/2004 / 04/25/2004 - 05/02/2004 / 05/02/2004 - 05/09/2004 / 05/09/2004 - 05/16/2004 / 05/16/2004 - 05/23/2004 / 05/23/2004 - 05/30/2004 / 05/30/2004 - 06/06/2004 / 06/06/2004 - 06/13/2004 / 06/13/2004 - 06/20/2004 / 06/20/2004 - 06/27/2004 / 06/27/2004 - 07/04/2004 / 07/04/2004 - 07/11/2004 / 07/11/2004 - 07/18/2004 / 07/18/2004 - 07/25/2004 / 07/25/2004 - 08/01/2004 / 08/01/2004 - 08/08/2004 / 08/08/2004 - 08/15/2004 / 08/15/2004 - 08/22/2004 / 08/22/2004 - 08/29/2004 / 08/29/2004 - 09/05/2004 / 09/05/2004 - 09/12/2004 / 09/12/2004 - 09/19/2004 / 09/19/2004 - 09/26/2004 / 09/26/2004 - 10/03/2004 / 10/03/2004 - 10/10/2004 / 10/10/2004 - 10/17/2004 / 10/17/2004 - 10/24/2004 / 10/24/2004 - 10/31/2004 / 10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004 / 11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004 / 11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004 / 11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004 / 11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004 / 12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004 / 12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004 / 12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004 / 01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005 / 01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005 / 01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005 / 01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005 / 01/30/2005 - 02/06/2005 / 02/06/2005 - 02/13/2005 / 02/13/2005 - 02/20/2005 / 02/20/2005 - 02/27/2005 / 02/27/2005 - 03/06/2005 / 03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005 / 03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005 / 03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005 / 04/03/2005 - 04/10/2005 / 04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005 / 06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005 /

Read Up
//Agnes
//Aileen
//Allen
//Amando
//Amando Xanga
//Ariel
//Arvin
//Ben
//Brian
//Charlene
//Cheryl's Xanga
//Cheryl
//Chris P
//Chris U
//Christian
//Clare
//Curt
//Daffodil
//Dawn
//Dyna
//Erika
//Felicia
//Floyd
//Francine
//Gabby
//Gennipher
//Idelle
//J Lo
//Jamey
//Jackie
//Jacqui
//Jasmine
//Jorelyn
//Kirstin
//Kristine
//Mai
//Marianne
//Marlon
//Meg
//Micheal
//Mya
//Nicole
//Paul Nathan
//Phil
//Rachel N
//Rachel P
//Rachelle
//Raffy
//Rhea
//Rich
//Rosemarie
//Sammie
//Scott
//Sarah
//Stephanie
//Sybil
//Tiffany
//Trish

//Joleine,Kara,Rachelle, Allen
//Clare, Teresa, Etc.
//Allen and Rachelle
//Sammy and Hannah

Music
//The All American Rejects
//The Ataris
//Blink 182
//Copeland
//Daphne Loves Derby
//Days Away
//Fall Out Boy
//Hoobastank
//Incubus
//The Juliana Theory
//Linkin Park
//Mae
//Matchbook Romance
//Moneen
//New Found Glory
//NoWayOut
//Rufio
//Slow Coming Day
//Something Corporate
//Story of the Year
//Sugarcult
//The Working Title
//Yellowcard
these are just some of my musical favorites

Educational
//Google
//MCHS
//Learning Point
//MCHS Band

Tuesday, March 15, 2005
9:42 PM

"i look forward to a good cry..."
//Sam - Garden State

so it seems that i've quite possibly had the worst couple days ever... maybe even week... i don't know anymore, i'm so used to be angry and upset that i've lost count. But i have to say today tops them all. I haven't cried so much since i was a little girl, and i didn't know why i was crying. I haven't felt this much pain since the 8th grade, and back then it still wasn't clear why i was feeling those feelings. I haven't felt this horrible about myself... ever. My eyes are sore, my hands are still shaking, and my heart is still hurting. I don't know how i'm going to get through the next few days, or weeks, or however long it maybe... I'm scared as hell. I'm confronted with one of my worst fears, although (hopefully) its only a trial. I'm scared of what it may lead to, but at the same time i'm confident that it will bring good. I hope it brings good. These thoughts of hope are the only things that have brought me solace, so i can be calm. only an hour and a half ago i couldn't stop crying... literally. I was going hysterical. I felt the need to drive a knife straight through my wrist. I was tempted to crash my car, maybe even throw it over a hill... but that would have brought me no good. if anything, i'll just keep crying... because i feel like theres nothing to be happy about.

I was already having a hard time with things at school and social problems. I felt friendless and alone. Unless i was around the one thing that assured me that i wasn't alone in life. The one person that made me feel like i was important and that i meant something, to someone. I was feeling really self concious. My skin problems have been getting worst. My exima is starting to show very badly on my neck, my face is even starting to show signs of extreme drying and itching. I feel fat. I got a few rashes/cuts on my stomach from my belt rubbing against my lower stomach when i sit. If i were skinny, i wouldn't have to worry about that. Despite all these problems, whenever i was around you... i felt beautiful. Of course there were those moments where i thought about my problems, but they quickly faded. You made me confident in who i was, and you made me feel like i didn't have to try and be perfect, cause i was perfect the way i was.

I needed you more
when we wanted us less
I could not kiss just regress
it might just be
clear simple and plain
that's just fine
that's just one of my names
don't let the days go by
could've been easier on you
glycerine
//Bush - Glycerine

Failure: Pronunciation: 'fA(&)l-y&r Function: noun - A Falling Short

Now... those of you who may be reading and you're not to sure what the hell i'm talking about, here it goes. Have you ever felt like you failed someone or something? Have you ever done something to make you feel like you're guilty? Have you ever felt like it was all your fault? Well i failed someone, i'm guilty for failing, and i know all of the consequences that came my way were due to me and it was my fault. If i hadn't yelled, if i hadn't gotten frusterated, if i hadn't lost my temper, if i hadn't fucked up the other things as well, i wouldn't be here... but i am. Now i'm forced to deal with the repercussions of my actions... and i'm have a lot of trouble coping. I let someone down and i've never felt so horrible for something that was so unintentional. I guess the little things in my mind, can be big in the grand scheme of things, and it seems that i've taken even the more minute things for granted...

Theres still so many things going through my head and i haven't even begun to try and get through the next couple days. But hopefully all will go well.

I'm sorry for not paying attention to the minor details, because just one misplaced nail can bring the whole house down. I should learn to become more patient and let you have a say in things. I'm sorry for being so demanding. I'm sorry for not attending to your needs. Thank you for everything you've done for me, everything you've given me (not just the material things but all the contributions to my personality, my happiness, and my life in general) and all that i have learned from you. I hope you accept my apology.


An-Knee Sea | 9:42 PM|

Putting It Down