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Way To Piss Me Off At Work...
I went to work yesterday and right before i take my 15 min break i get a text. When i get into the breakroom i check out the text it's from Chris. At first i'm excited, cause i'm always excited to get a call or a text from him... but when i read it i get pissed. He says the boys want him to go toPB with them tonight. Why that pissed me off as much as it did... i dunno, but man... So i call im and i'm like, What'd you say? he tells me that the boys want to go to PB... I just don't understand what the point of that is. He doesn't dance, he doesn't drink, and he has a fucking girlfriend. So the point of going out and clubbing is what? TO WASTE MONEY?! i dont fucking know. whatever. And it's not like i don't trust him or anything, but i don't like the idea of the boys pushing girls onto him and egging him on to do things. i know he wont do it, but still, just the way his friends are and would treat the situation doesn'tmake me comfortable. And he didn't understand at all why i would be pissed. I dunno... whatever. Well he didn't end up going... but i dunno if that made me feel any better about any of it.
Damn, I'm Clever
So a few days ago Andrew and i both ended up at In N Out after work. It was kinda weird, but we hung out a little while i waited for my food and he give me his number and told me to call by friday. I think that was monday. So anyway. I texted him last night, like at 1:15 in the morning. And i really wanted to play mind tricks with him so i was like, "Hey boo, What's goin on?" he had no damn idea who it was! haha, so we just sent texts back and forth as he tried to figure out who it was. He finally gave up and called me. We ended up talking for a few hours. As sweet as the boy is and as much as i like the way he treats girls and the way he says he would treat me... After the conversation all i could think was, I miss Chris. I don't think anyone could treat me with as much love as chris does. It may not be as flamboyant and as charming... and as much as i love that whole idea of being wined and dined and the flowers just because and hearing i love you when it doesn't need to be said, i love the way chris treats me. No one will be able to fill his shoes... I love him.
I Can't Help It...
I'm still doing things that i promised i would stop doing... It relieves me. It makes me feel better... When theres no one to talk to and no one i can vent to i look at at sharp edge. I finally changed the direction from vertical to horizontal... i suppose that means i'm getting better. I dunno.
I've been having problems... I suppose you can call them boyfriend problems. I don't want to say anything just because i know we're gonna end up arguing... i dont like it when we argue... I don't want chris to get tired of me and my arguing. So i'll just allude to things, but i'll pretty much keep it under wraps... but now it seems that things are starting to get to me... Last night he told me some things... because i asked him... i suppose thats my fault... What he told me kind of bothered me. I just tried to let it go... And usually i do really well... but i couldn't even sleep last night because of it... i can't sleep right now because of it. I can't let it get the best of me. I dunno what to do. Not talking about things makes it so hard to be in this relationship... just because i know he doesn't like talking about the bad things... but it just makes it hard to fix things we need to work on. I dunno... I'll just let it go. It's stupid anyway....